How to Support a Partner Who’s Struggling with Mental Health

Written By Taylor Cunningham

When someone you love is struggling with their mental health, it can feel overwhelming, not just for them, but for you, too. You want to help, but you might worry about saying the wrong thing, doing too much, or not doing enough.

Supporting a partner through mental health challenges requires patience, empathy, and healthy boundaries. It also means taking care of yourself so you can be a steady, compassionate presence in their life.

In this article, we’ll cover practical, therapist‑backed strategies for supporting your partner’s mental health, without losing your own. We feel particularly confident in providing the following information because this is something our Cary, NC Therapists and Therapists in Raleigh at Carolina Therapy Solutions work with on a daily basis. We help individuals and relationships better understand the impacts of their mental health on themselves and loved ones.

Understanding Your Partner’s Experience

1. Recognize the Signs

Mental health struggles can show up in many ways, including:

  • Avoidance or disinterest from things previously enjoyed including social relationships.

  • Changes in sleep, appetite, or energy

  • Irritability or emotional outbursts and inconsistencies

  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

  • Expressions of hopelessness or overwhelm

You may also see the following as signs your loved one is struggling with their mental health:

  • Changes in how emotionally present they are (less warmth, curiosity, responsiveness)

  • Flatter affect or mood (less animation, facial expression, tone use)

  • Trouble or limited access of emotions (often saying “I don’t know” or “I am fine”)

  • More defensiveness, shut down, perceived criticism

  • Shifts is self talk / view of others or the world. Leaning more negative then would be typical for this person

2. Avoid Making Assumptions

Even if you’ve experienced similar challenges yourself, your partner’s journey will be unique. Instead of assuming what they need, ask open‑ended questions like:

  • “What’s been feeling hardest for you lately?”

  • “How can I support you right now?”

3. Learn About Their Condition

If your partner has been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, or another condition, learning about it can help you understand what they’re going through and reduce frustration.

How to Offer Support Without Taking Over

1. Listen Without Trying to Fix

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is create space for your partner to share without judgment or advice. Use active listening:

  • Maintain eye contact

  • Reflect back what you’ve heard

  • Validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand

Example: “You’ve been really struggling since your boss left. That makes sense, they were incredibly supportive and always in your corner.”

2. Ask How You Can Help, and Respect the Answer

Your partner might want you to attend therapy sessions with them, help with practical tasks, or simply offer emotional presence. They may just want you to sit with them, without judgement or pressure and be near you, or they may be asking for space. Letting your loved one know you are there for them without pressure or expectation can go a really long way.

3. Encourage Professional Help

Gently suggest therapy, counseling, or support groups, but avoid pushing in a way that feels controlling. Offer to help research options or attend an initial appointment together. Often people struggling with their mental health can have decision fatigue or low energy and motivation. It can be helpful to offer practice help while this is overwhelming.

4. Support Healthy Routines

Mental health challenges can disrupt sleep, nutrition, and exercise habits. Encourage and participate in healthy activities together:

  • Cooking balanced meals for them or with them

  • Taking daily walks

  • Practicing mindfulness or relaxation techniques

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Recognize and appreciate even small signs of progress. This reinforces hope and motivation.

Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Own Well‑Being

1. Know Your Limits

You can’t “fix” your partner’s mental health, and trying to take on that responsibility can lead to burnout.

2. Maintain Your Own Self‑Care

Continue engaging in activities that nourish you, hobbies, friendships, exercise, or therapy for yourself.

3. Avoid Codependency

It’s important to support your partner without making your entire identity revolve around their needs.

How Couples Therapy Can Help

Therapy isn’t just for individuals; couples therapy can provide tools for:

  • Communicating openly about mental health needs

  • Navigating conflict when one partner is struggling

  • Strengthening emotional connection and resilience

At Carolina Therapy Solutions, we integrate Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and the Gottman Method in Cary and Raleigh, NC to help couples face mental health challenges as a team.

When to Seek Immediate Help

If your partner expresses thoughts of self‑harm or suicide, take it seriously. In the U.S., you can call or text 988 or use the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline chat at 988lifeline.org.


Supporting a partner with mental health challenges requires compassion, patience, and balance. You can be an important part of their healing process, but you also need to care for yourself along the way.

Therapy for Mental Health Support in Cary and Raleigh, NC

If you and your partner want to learn how to navigate mental health challenges together, book a free consultation with Carolina Therapy Solutions today. Specializing in Couples, Individuals, Depression, Anxierty, Trauma and PTSD. Learn more about our incredible team of therapy experts in Cary, NC and Raleigh, NC here.

Taylor Cunningham
Previous

How to Have Hard Conversations Without Fighting
Next

How EFT Helps Couples Break the Cycle of Conflict